不安

When I went to bed and I was thinking about future suddenly, I felt uneasy it, then I couldn’t sleep at that time.

I know I usually fall asleep difficulty, nevertheless I close my eye for a while time, then I can fall asleep.
But, The wind is blowing hard and loud at that time, I couldn’t almost sleep, so I started thinking about future and I felt uneasy.

It might accelerate negative thoughts when I couldn’t sleep at night.
Especially, darkness make me anxious.

Then, when I was thinking back about my day, I recognized that there is satisfy hours in working and studying but I couldn’t spend almost an satisfy hours of day.
So, I thought how long it will take several year until my goal at this pace, I felt uneasy gradually and that’ll make it even harder for me to fall asleep.
I was trapped in a vicious cycle.

I couldn’t fall asleep in a hour, so I sat down in front of pc then I started writing down my thoughts to clear my head.
In the end, I kept writing for two hours.

But, it can be refreshed that I write down my thoughts.
As one example, one of my purpose of started blog was practicing drawing, so I have drawn better than when I started.
I don’t read again the drawing of around first time, so I was concerned whether my drawing skill was growing up or not.
But, I could be relief because I was looking back on my drawing of blog and I could convince that my drawing skill is improving.

I confirmed uneasy using how to write down it one by one, then I recognized “those are not uneasy”, so I could fall asleep.
I thought it was important to have the time that I stop and look back without I only look forward.

I was hard to get up in the morning of that next day, but I will try to take the time of looking back once several months.
I’m sleepy.