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I designed for the first time in a while.

I had quit as a designer 2 years ago, so I have never design since that time.
But, I had gotten a personal business two years ago, that was suspended, then that was restarted this time.
So, I will work as designer for the first time in two years.

I feel my stomach has a stabbing pain.

I’m not good at design.

The reason why I quitted designer is that it took time to design work more than other coworker, then I don’t want to bother them.
I kept working as designer on holiday, but I felt I’m at my limit, so I negotiated that with my boss.

I had that experience, so I have a feeling of being not good at design, this time, the design work restart makes me worried.
But, I was coding a lot of sites for two years, I may have improved my design skill.
I think so that, I’m hopeful but also nervous.
I’m going to work design in that condition.

Then, I could make a design that it is good and more sophisticated than 2 years ago.
So, I had confidence in it, but I receive modification by the client.
I had a feeling thing at that time.

We are not on the same page about perception of design between I and the client.

The client gave me some reference sites that he want to make me use it as reference, but I let my design move to that I can do easily design.
So, my design have become that the client don’t want.

What I can do it is to make a design looked beautiful at appearance.
But I can’t do it plus something.

I can align elements beautiful, for the user is easy to read the web site, because I take care about layout and margin.
But I could only go so far in my design skill, I can’t align decoration for colorful or it can’t be feeling a sense of warmth like handwritten style from my design.
I can do formatting design like a corporate site, but I can’t other design.

I can’t meet clients needs, I have that serious defect.
So, designer is not for me.

Designer is not Artist.

I heard those words from somewhere two years ago.
I think that means is that the designer express in design about clients needs, but not the designer himself.
I think it’s exactly, then when I heard that, I thought at that time it is possible to become an Artist, but absolutely not a designer.

I remembered that because I do design for the first time in a while.

In the end, I managed to finish my design work, because I got a confirm of client.
I gave up on becoming designer when I go vocational training school, so I aimed to becoming web coder and I joined into IT industry.
Then, I was accepted my current company and I worked as designer and coder, that latter was surprised for me.
So, if I will have an occur that I work as designer once again and I use my design experience, I would want to retry it.
I hope the day will come.

But, I don’t want to design in a while.

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